Chad5160
02-08-2006, 07:09 PM
This is SOOOOOO great! Jeff Lepper found this somewhere. He posted it on the forum I admin www.norcalsrt4.com so I had to re-post it here! Kinda long but funny as #&$ and oh sooo true.
You Know You Are a Road Racer When......
- You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
- You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars (for the seats).
- You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.
- You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to "racing depth."
- When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
- When you hear 'overcooked it,' instead of food you think 'off the track.'
- You change engine oil every other week.
- You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.
- You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
- Your racing budget is second only to your mortgage.
- Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
- You walk "proper lines" through the grocery store aisles.
- You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
- You bought a race car before buying a house.
- You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
-The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8-car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dualie, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) Deaf neighbors.
5) Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere, or hookups for the motor home.
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.
- You know well that orthodontic work is the equivalent of three sets of tires.
- While waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop, you sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe.
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another car.
- More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
- You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
- You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start your engines!"
- You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends.
- You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
- After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
- You have a separate drawer for "shop clothes."
- Your reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book Carroll Smith has ever written and 400 car magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
- People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
- People know you by your "offs". "Oh, you're the one stuck in the mud at ButtonBog last weekend!"
- Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
- You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
- You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but can't remember your phone number.
- Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
- You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
- A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
- You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
- The fire hydrant at that corner is an apex marker.
- You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
- You always late apex an intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
- Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
- You always do a toe & heel downshift while your passenger gives you a real funny look.
- You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best.
- You can't stand understeer.
- You always want to change something in your street car to make it handle better.
- You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
- You hate long distance drives to visit relatives or to go on vacation, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.
- You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
- You've ever tried to convince your spouse you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her van.
- You save broken car parts as "mementos".
- Your last several freeway forays included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly.
- The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
- You would choose a roll bar over air conditioning if it were an option.
- You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.
- You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.
- When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "Prepared to Win."
- You have racing shops programmed on your speed dialer.
- You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
- You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
- You regularly live-test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
- You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.
- You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview afterwards.
- After you tell your spouse where you'd like to go on your vacation the next question is: "Why... is there a race there?"
- A cop pulls you over and ask for your license and registration so you give him you SCCA license, SM logbook, and the tech card from your last race.
- The only reason you clean out your street car is so that you don't have weight transferring around the car when you make a hard corner.
- You are about to buy a new street car and the salesman asks if you want in automatic or manual, to which you respond "they still make automatic transmissions? I thought those were illegal"
- You only wash your car to lessen the aerodynamic drag that dirt causes.
- You know your wife's a racer when she calls you from her car to tell you that a really clean "donor" just pulled up to the light beside her, and she thinks it's a '91.
You Know You Are a Road Racer When......
- You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
- You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars (for the seats).
- You feel compelled on a road trip to beat your previous best time.
- You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to "racing depth."
- When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
- When you hear 'overcooked it,' instead of food you think 'off the track.'
- You change engine oil every other week.
- You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.
- You thoroughly enjoy showing the tailgater behind how to drive around a highway off-ramp.
- Your racing budget is second only to your mortgage.
- Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
- You walk "proper lines" through the grocery store aisles.
- You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
- You bought a race car before buying a house.
- You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
-The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8-car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dualie, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) Deaf neighbors.
5) Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere, or hookups for the motor home.
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires that could have been purchased.
- You know well that orthodontic work is the equivalent of three sets of tires.
- While waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop, you sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe.
- You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another car.
- More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
- You have car parts in your cubicle at work.
- You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start your engines!"
- You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on weekends.
- You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
- After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
- You have a separate drawer for "shop clothes."
- Your reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book Carroll Smith has ever written and 400 car magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
- People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
- People know you by your "offs". "Oh, you're the one stuck in the mud at ButtonBog last weekend!"
- Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
- You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
- You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but can't remember your phone number.
- Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
- You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
- A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
- You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
- The fire hydrant at that corner is an apex marker.
- You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
- You always late apex an intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
- Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
- You always do a toe & heel downshift while your passenger gives you a real funny look.
- You can't stand anyone telling others how to drive. Of course, you are the best.
- You can't stand understeer.
- You always want to change something in your street car to make it handle better.
- You will gladly pay up to $8 for a quart of engine oil.
- You hate long distance drives to visit relatives or to go on vacation, but you will gladly drive 800 miles to the race track.
- You think that traction control and ABS are for those who can't drive.
- You've ever tried to convince your spouse you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her van.
- You save broken car parts as "mementos".
- Your last several freeway forays included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly.
- The local police and state Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
- You would choose a roll bar over air conditioning if it were an option.
- You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.
- You spend more on insurance premiums than on food.
- Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.
- When someone refers to "The Good Book", you think of "Prepared to Win."
- You have racing shops programmed on your speed dialer.
- You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
- You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
- You regularly live-test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
- You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.
- You've slalomed in a construction zone, and counted your penalty time in the rearview afterwards.
- After you tell your spouse where you'd like to go on your vacation the next question is: "Why... is there a race there?"
- A cop pulls you over and ask for your license and registration so you give him you SCCA license, SM logbook, and the tech card from your last race.
- The only reason you clean out your street car is so that you don't have weight transferring around the car when you make a hard corner.
- You are about to buy a new street car and the salesman asks if you want in automatic or manual, to which you respond "they still make automatic transmissions? I thought those were illegal"
- You only wash your car to lessen the aerodynamic drag that dirt causes.
- You know your wife's a racer when she calls you from her car to tell you that a really clean "donor" just pulled up to the light beside her, and she thinks it's a '91.